Infinity

Then the world stopped turning
Time stood still
Send me your smile
Give me your cheers
Bring me to life
Pull heaven to earth
Put it right between us

Nocturne

The moon shone brightly last night
As two souls counted stars
They never knew when they would finish
But they counted away
Not minding the make shifts of
The darkness beyond

Hair Play

All smiles! No hair!


Grease person! AKA Taong grasa!

When the world seems meaningless

Insomia.
Lots of things in mind.
Feels like this big load on my back is getting heavier.
Can't breathe.
Dying.
Can't move.
Undecided.
I hope when i sleep
This baggage will be emptied.

Serenity

I thought the sky was clear
but then black clouds began to build up.
When will i see the sun again?
The light I've been getting strength from.

I heard a voice inside of me.
A little voice.
Insignificant to some.
"Soon you will. Just stay with me."

I smiled.
He's still there.
The kid in me.

Making people's life Miserable Day After day (MMDA)

For a moment I thought I was going to jail when this guy in an aqua blue uniform approached me. I've always crossed to the island after going down a jeepney. It's a very human and practical reaction after a tiring day in school or for some at work -- not go back but straight to your destination, the other side of the road. It was just 2 meters away from the pedestrian lane. Alas! It was our day to get caught. I annoyingly walked towards the middle of edsa hi-way where the van of MMDA was. There was a flock of people circling around a MMDA officer. Like me they were in a rush and most of them are very much annoyed with what happened. True it was our fault to not have walked back and walked a few meters to the white lines that they so-called a pedestrian lane. "It's the jeepney's fault, if not for their improper unloading we wouldn't have crossed without going to the pedestrian crossing," an irritated lady said. The lady officer told her that it's was our fault to not have walked to the pedestrian lane. Whose fault was it? My stand remains unchanged. If not for the improper unloading because of the "U-turn scheme" the MMDA imposed the pedestrians won't be jay walking. A simple solution may be to strictly impose the unloading zones or to remove the "U-turn scheme" so the now useless traffic lights can be used again. Good thing the MMDA just issued a warning. When I got my id back I skidded off hurriedly to the MRT station.

Narcissism

Pictures I took with my classmate's camera phone

Allen in the UPCFA Workshop

Mushy Mornings

The sun rose
I wept,
For you were not beside me.
It was just a dream.
I got up,
Saw my face in the mirror.
Miserable.
I went to bed once more
To dream of you.
--------------------------
Blinded by the sun,
I awoke from a deep slumber;
A dreamless sleep it was.
I opened my eyes with anticipation,
My body freezing from last night's coldness.
I stood up,
Smiled,
And looked down.
A tear drop fell.
It's just monday...
---------------------------------
Send me cheers.
Bring me joy.
Look through me.
Say what's true.
Tell me about you.
Count stars with me.
Sing ballads.
Compose a poem
Filled with
The likeness of you.

A sleepless kid

Cold.
My bed empty.
In a while I will be under the covers
wishing you'll be there.
But I know it'll just be a dream.
Though if I do dream I hope you're in it.
With the sky serving as a niche for our thoughts.
Stars give us light for the night.
A mist of cold air serves as our blanket.
The sea our bed.
Our breaths the air that sustains our lives.
I hope this won't be one of those nights.
A dreamless sleep.
I want to dream of you.
Be with you.
Stay with you.

Suffocation

My heart is beating awfully fast.
Uncomfortable.
Don't know what to think of.
Tell me more...
I need to know the reasons why.

I am short of breath.
My chest, a fast deflating balloon.
Confused.
I am trying to assess what happened the past few days.
Where did I go wrong?
What do I lack?

I'll try to make sense out of this.
I'm close to crying.
You'd laugh at me when I do.
I want to lie down.
Sleep for a while.
Forget.
Dream.

Naive.
Yes I might be.
But a chance I want you to give me.
Not to prove myself.
But to be myself.

The Human Orchestra

Composed of two individuals. One man of medium built around five feet and ten inches tall and 150lbs, and a woman of enormous proportions. They are both in bed complete with a bean bag for a pillow and a blanket, the man snoring and the woman breathing heavily. Occassionally the man mouths sentences or even say it audibly and the woman answers with a snore in harmony with the man. Both are conducted by their dreams.

Poems

Here are some poems I wrote about a year ago.

LOVE EGO

alone...
sitting by myself
not minding every person that pass by
just reading line by line the story i already know
what is the story about?
i don't understand it
all i see are clouds of thought hovering over my head
building up volume until it'll rain on me.

perplexed…
drinking while reading
as i reminisce everything that happened
every detail that troubled both my mind and my heart
why am i like this again?
maybe i’m just confused
there’s still this pain inside of me that i can’t get rid of
i shouldn’t think of this -- that is the answer.

longing for…
dreams mystify me
their enigmatic sense i can not surmise
fate might have brought him to me to let me realize things
how will i end all of this?
i can go on like this
even though i know sometimes i will be hurt because of this
but pain is no big deal, my love is stronger

recovery…
lying on my bed
crying to let all the pain out of my heart
imagining every smile, glare, touch and kiss he rendered
can i survive all these facts?
time will heal all the wounds
my mind will for sure take over my emotions again
arise and say to the world that you’re happy

myself…
i love myself more
i always tell myself that i will survive
i got through all of these because i had only myself
am i being selfish?
i know what my worth is
i can venture to the real world for i have a will
i am an individual amidst all these…


The Unfamiliar Tones of Life

I woke up with a tired look in my eyes
As I gaze at myself in the mirror
Dissonances fill my head
When will this turn into a resolution --
A perfect consonance of tones?

Sometimes I feel that I am wandering
In an abyss of harmonic suspensions
Not knowing when will I surface
Feeling quite low
But exasperated by the highness of thoughts

Will you?

Will you share your life with me
For the next ten minutes?
For the next ten minutes
We can handle that
We could watch the waves
We could watch the sky
Or just sit and wait
As the time ticks by
And if we make it till then
Can I ask you again
For another ten?

And if you in turn agree
To the next ten minutes
And the next ten minutes
Till the morning comes
Then just holding you
Might compel me to
Ask you for more
There are so many lives
I want to share with you
I will never be complete until I do

text of the song "Next Ten Minutes" from the Last Five Years by Jason Robert Brown


Truly a risk worth taking.
Hopefully we'd share every minute of our lives together.
If not now maybe very soon.
Let's try and explore the possibilities.
I want to spend time with you looking at the stars connecting them like dots on paper.
Hold a brush with you and paint the morning sky.
Lay with you in bed sharing dreams.
Together we'll set our own time.

The Lion Sleeps Not

A few minutes to 3 am.
I'm still juggling in blogger mode trying to write what I felt today.
Was pushed away.
Hurt.
I don' know how I could get up. I've been trying to psyche myself that soon it'll be alright. I'll make it through this obstacle. Darn I fell again...
Badly hurt.
Can't function anymore.
I've been trying all day to do the things I must do. All I did was lay in my bed staring at the blank ceiling. Thinking that when I close my eyes I'll see the sky again.

your smile in the light of a sunset

Believe me...
I know what I'm feeling.
I long for your presence.
The past few days were not enough for me I want more of you.
I want to see you smile,
hear you laugh, hear your stories,
joke with me, know you more,
know your friends,
care for you...
be with you, always.
I left pictures of me in your phone. You can see me, I can't see you.
I only have the memories of you smiling,
sleeping like an angel,
hearing your teeth click while you sleep,
the warmth of your touch,
your eyes full of mystery,
those hands that matched mine when we held hands,
the sweetness of your breath,
and that kiss you rendered everytime we would look in each others eyes,
all of you.
When will I see that someone again who played God and created an abode
for me to see him and me together under the sky he made?

Why?

Lately we've been talking.
I've always talked to you in the nakedness of my emotions.
Told you most of the things happening to me.
But I believe sometimes I have the prerogative to not be in that full nakedness.
Like you do.
You often don't speak much of what's happening between you and him and most especially you don't tell me where you are most of the time.
And what's surprising is that I do that. Not expecting anything from you in return.
You would get mad at me everytime I wouldn't tell you something.
Yet if I'll tell it to you directly you'd get hurt. And afterwhich I'd feel really uncomfortable. I'm affected everytime you're uneasy, mad, jealous etc.
I said sorry.
I meant it.
But I haven't heard from you since...
Maybe it's time...
I don't know what's next for us...
It's something we need to know soon;
Let's live our lives again...
Together or separately.

Lately

I thought it was...
I thought it is...
I thought it will...
I thought it did...
I thought you were...
I thought you are...
I thought you will...
I just thought wrong.

holiday cheers and fears

Imagine your ideal Christmas...
Mom and dad laughing together while you and your siblings open your gifts under an enormous Christmas tree. In a round table eating noche buena while exchanging stories of the past Christmases you had. You'll sleep and then by morning you'll have your Christmas day lunch in a fancy restaurant. Afterwhich you'll stroll along a lovely park merrily singing Christmas songs while holding each other's hand. You'll go home tired from all the laughing and story-telling. You and your siblings will be talking about what you saw in the park; the boy who tripped; the beautiful lady in red eating strawberry ice cream while walking her cute white puppy; one of your neighbors who you accidentally bump into. The conversation will end and all of you will fall into a deep slumber. Hope fills all of you that tomorrow will be as happy as it was that Christmas day.
You wake up from the dream you had...
You find yourself in a room with your brothers. You sleep alone in the corner. You dream alone. Your mom wakes you up with a tone that forces your ears to shut. You try to sleep again but you find her voice deafening. You stand up and say, "I'm awake!" She would get hurt. She would deliver a monologue that can be included in an Academy Award winning movie. You shut your ears once more. The sound of her voice you can feel but you refuse to listen.
Alone...
You feel alone; most of the people you cared for left you. And most of the people you care for don't give a damn about what you feel. Lonely. Blue from trying to breathe the last remaining air in the soon to be vacuum space you're in.
You try to live your life; cling to someone who could help you. Risk yourself from being hurt again. You're not sure of anything; no assurance of happiness. But you have to try and free yourself from the clutches of the void that's been eating up your insides. Live your life again. You have your life back.

Wishing You A Merry Pasko Medley and Joy To The Three Kings That Heard The Angels On High

'Twas a night of bells, joys, wishes, cheers, smiles and long walks to greet souls a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year.
What a tiring night it was. Before the giving of holiday cheers we sat down and ate goto near the houses that we're going to try and collect aguinaldo for our christmas party. We need to raise much money to feed about 50 people. (That would be 22 College choir members, around 20 High School members and 10 children's choir memebers.)
I especially liked one house we went to because after singing a song a kid went running towards the door in pyjamas holding two 5 peso coins and that made most of us giggle. She was so cute that even though she gave us a relatively small amount it gave this air of optimism. The hope that we would reach our quota.


HIMIG SANGHAYA CHORALE

Nightmare

It was a night of manananggals (even jolibee was made to be one), tikbalang, serena, and of course our very own lantern the bakunawa. The Bakunawa was very much appealing to kids because of its "fishiness". Kids would sometimes shout and call it Nemo, others Stitch because of it being a fish (and nemo is a fish), and it has this blue face with red glowing eyes (like stitch). Two kids actually fought over the resemblance to those characters.
A year ago I would jog (but i mostly do brisk walking) around the academic oval for an hour doing about 3 to 4 rounds but the walk while holding the banner of our lantern and the stop overs for a show-off of the lantern was quite exhausting(aside from the exhaustion from the past days of making that somewhat flying fish).
First time i did go to the lantern parade and actually be included in it. It proved to be a rewarding experience. The cheers and jeers of the crowd will make your heart beat faster and make your adrenaline rise up to your head. The joy of being in the parade can never be compared to a trip to the restroom. It's somewhat more relieving than that. :-)


Here is Nemo... Stitch... whatever.. and the ID Crew