Emotional Activism

Every night I battle
The memories that
Come rushing
Back to me.
I try
To clear
My head;
My battle cry
Echoing:
Death to
Promises and Lies,
Hope and Sacrifice!

Uncanny resemblance

My long lost brother?

Someone told me that this is a picture of the son of Cherry Gil...

Am i supposed to be Allen Gil?

Sorrow

If you would try to hear
The voice of
What you are reading now,
You would not bare listening to it.
It's like how
The blackness of the dark feels
When the sun is about to rise --
Every second
It tries to fight
The eminent threat
But it could not.
It just gets comfort from
The crow after crow
Of roosters that wake
The sleeping town.
Though, it knows that before
The last minute
It can hide behind
Someone's back
As a shadow.

Celeb

Simplicity

Impressionism

We've been growing apart since we parted ways: you tried to paint on a clean canvas and put the once beautiful painting aside to gather dust. It was a beautiful painting of the sunset by the sea.
Everyday I feel like a coconut floating in open sea waiting for the current to bring me to the beach where I would take root and grow into a strong tree that can withstand storms.
Until now I do not know when I would see that beach. All I see now would be the abyss below me.
Tomorrow I know i won't look forward that much in spending time playing in open water. I easily get tired of the endless charades with the creatures of the deep -- their only intention is to distract me from treading.

What my dreams came to be

I'm trying out smoking. The doctors tell me that it's my affirmation that i am alive.
- What dreams may come

I started smoking last October 2006 and it has been quite some sort of rebellion against myself. I never wanted to even try smoking but certain events in my life lead to the destruction of that ideal. I tried to destroy myself that time. And it was a learning experience: Never stop dreaming eventhough the life you've been hoping for was lost.
I realized that I don't have build dreams with someone. All I should do now would be to realize my dreams and work on it, if someone would come along, all I have to do is share those dreams of mine not build something together that I know would definitely end when the relationship falls apart.
I try to live with myself now. Everyday I face problems with work and it has been distracting my emotions.
Smoking also distracts me and I know that it is bad for my health. But soon an epiphany will come. Hopefully it comes before I die of Lung cancer.

Frost Bite

The cold air
Envelopes my nakedness.
The breeze
An icy-needle like blanket.
I lay still.
Breathing shallow.
Eyes heavy
with frozen tears.
My body
shivering.
Cold.

Self-Confessed Alcoholic

Today i try and look for the pieces -
The ones i lost.
I guess I won't find them.
Tomorrow i'll be stuck in limbo.
My complicated life will be now as simple as going to and coming from the stressful environment called work.
Now i feel empty as the bottles of beer in front of me.

Dissonance

The past few days
I tried
To play a song
In my head
But now
The melody
Has faded
And I'm left
With a memory
Of broken
Chords and Silences.
Haunted melodies
Of the past.

Restless

The moon weeps tonight.
Each tear drop is caught by the leaves of a dying plant.
It neither brings life nor health but pain.
Tomorrow my garden of hope will die.

Insomnia 125

The temperature of my room rises in each passing moment;
I hear roosters trying to communicate with their fellow;
My body tired from the long day;
But still my mind is restless.

Dreaming

I was crying in my dream last night while i was walking a blurry path with you.
You tried to ease the pain by holding my hand
But everytime you tried my hand would tremble
And I would let go.
You were a few miles away from me
When i looked back
Still crying.

Birthday Wishlist

I have middle life crisis
and here are some things that will ease the pain that age brings me
i'm now 15 in a few years i'll be out of my teen years

Mobile phone (so i can change my old crappy lcd phone which i'm using now because the phone dad my dad gave me gave up on me)
Christopher Paolini: Eldest
Back pack/Mountaineering back pack
SLR Camera bag
iMac/MacBook
Laptop
Hair clipper/razor (so I don’t have to go to the barber shop)
SLR Digital Camera
The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
“Happy Feet” Sound track and DVD
DVD: Season 1-5 of QAF
Shoes, size 43 (10)
Coat/Jacket
1Gb (or higher) Flash drive
USB microphone
Board shorts
80gb external hard drive

Face to face

My cool celebrity look-alike collage from MyHeritage.com. Get one for yourself.

I Like For You to be Still

By Pablo Neruda

I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,
and you hear me from far away and my voice does not touch you.
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
and it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth.

As all things are filled with my soul
you emerge from the things, filled with my soul.
You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream,
and you are like the word Melancholy.

I like for you to be still, and you seem far away.
It sounds as though you were lamenting, a butterfly cooing like a dove.
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:
Let me come to be still in your silence.

And let me talk to you with your silence
that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring.
You are like the night, with its stillness and constellations.
Your silence is that of a star, as remote and candid.

I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,
distant and full of sorrow as though you had died.
One word then, one smile, is enough.
And I am happy, happy that it's not true.

Tonight I Can Write

By Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, "The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance."

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

4 4FOUR4 4

FOUR JOBS I HAVE HAD
1. Piano Teacher
2. Voice Teacher
3. Art Teacher
4. Photoshop Artist

FOUR MOVIES I HAVE WATCHED OVER AND OVER
1. RENT!
2. (It's cheezy but true, watched it 4 times) Titanic
3. A.I.
4. What Dreams May Come

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Pacita Complex, San Pedro, Laguna
2. Proj6, QC
3. Kalibo Aklan (2 weeks)
4. Isabela

FOUR TV SHOWS I LIKE TO WATCH:
1. Grey’s Anatomy
2. HEROES!!!
3. Just for Laughs
4. The Simpson's

FOUR PLACES I HAVE BEEN ON VACATION:
1. Kalibo, Aklan
2. Boracay (for just two f***ing days)
3. Isabela
4. Quezon

FOUR OF MY FAVORITE FOODS:
1. Pasta
2. Burger
3. Sashimi
4. Salmon Sashimi

ME! ME! ME!

The Pictures that matter

It's been two months and slowly I'm getting the twists and turns of work. I stopped school and worked because I wanted to get out of the comforts of the institution that's been nurturing my ideals; I want to experience the "real world".