written while listening to "Psycho Doctor" from the anime Fruits Basket
I hear the leaves fluttering outside my window
As scenes from the not so distant past
Flashed inside my head
Like a silent movie in Black and White.
I felt the coldness of the wind creeping on my skin
I closed the window and lied on my bed.
Once more I felt
The stillness of the room.
I closed my eyes and began to feel
The emptiness – sending me to a deep slumber
In my dark cold room
I lay slumped on a corner.
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Jusqu’à Fin (Till The End)
Written while listening to the instrumental version of "Kissing You" from the motion picture Romeo + Juliet
Thick fog covers the pavement of a winding road. The silhouette of a young man is seen from a distance – carrying the lifeless body of a young lady in his arms. The fog clears and the lad lays the lady down on the grassy knoll.
Then he speaks, “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” A teardrop falls and he slowly touches her cheeks with the back of his hand feeling the coldness of death on her pale skin.
He gradually moves his head forward towards hers – memorizing the contours of her face. His eyes stop on her lips, unexpectedly it still has the color of blood. He gently kisses her. The wind blows and he embraces her – her black hair flowing with the wind. He shouts her name. The thunder echoes the intensity of his voice. A raindrop falls on his cheeks.
He brushes off the dripping hair from his eyes. The body of his beloved lay still and colder because of the rain. His hands are now trembling because of the grief death brought him. In his pocket he draws out the knife that took her life – he found it in a pool of blood beside her. He looks at the bloodstain on the it and firmly grabs its base. And in a split second he thrusts it upon his beating heart. He lets out a painful cry.
The rain stops and the fog begins to thicken. On the grassy knoll the lifeless bodies lay.
Thick fog covers the pavement of a winding road. The silhouette of a young man is seen from a distance – carrying the lifeless body of a young lady in his arms. The fog clears and the lad lays the lady down on the grassy knoll.
Then he speaks, “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.” A teardrop falls and he slowly touches her cheeks with the back of his hand feeling the coldness of death on her pale skin.
He gradually moves his head forward towards hers – memorizing the contours of her face. His eyes stop on her lips, unexpectedly it still has the color of blood. He gently kisses her. The wind blows and he embraces her – her black hair flowing with the wind. He shouts her name. The thunder echoes the intensity of his voice. A raindrop falls on his cheeks.
He brushes off the dripping hair from his eyes. The body of his beloved lay still and colder because of the rain. His hands are now trembling because of the grief death brought him. In his pocket he draws out the knife that took her life – he found it in a pool of blood beside her. He looks at the bloodstain on the it and firmly grabs its base. And in a split second he thrusts it upon his beating heart. He lets out a painful cry.
The rain stops and the fog begins to thicken. On the grassy knoll the lifeless bodies lay.
The Twins
inspired by Neil Gaiman's "Snow, Glass, Apples"
It was just weeks after my husband’s death when I found them unconscious in the woods – a boy and a girl of the same age with tattered clothes and stains of blood with feathers on their hands. Scattered close to them were breadcrumbs. I hurriedly asked help from the village people to carry them home; and took care of them.
I am a widow of a baker. The children fondly calls my house, “The House made of Bread and Candies” because I always give them candies together with the bread they bought. The people of my village go to me to buy bread every morning and also foretell their destinies. I have the gift of premonition. But I can never tell what my future is. If I did know what it was, I never would have let the twins live in my home.
They did not wake until I had the dream: I was in a different house. It was quite dainty considering that the outside was full of trees; and it was fall. I was with a man who I feel is my husband. We were at the doorsteps. In front of us were the two children with the same age as they are now but their clothes were not torn; brown stains on their hands.
My husband (in the dream) and I held the children’s hands and welcomed them to our home. Suddenly, the scene changed. I was taken aback with what I saw. What lay in the yard was my husband’s corpse; his guts scattered on the ground as if a wild animal had hungrily preyed on him. Beside him was a trail of rocks. I followed it. It went through the woods to a clearing. No one was there. I lost my balance while walking to the end of the trail (this may be due to the trauma I experienced). I fell on my belly and all of a sudden I felt a thud on my back.
The next scene that followed was a revelation. I was now lying on my back and the twins were feasting on my insides…
I awoke exhausted from the dream I had. I tried to feel my belly with my hands. In the dark I saw the silhouette of the twins; they’re still in their bed sleeping.
I wasn’t able to go back to sleep that night.
I saw the sun’s rays creeping through the window – to the twin’s bed. In the morning light, their skin were as white as the milk that I get from my cow every morning. But today I would not get any milk from Daisy.
As I was kneading the dough for the day’s breads, two hands grab hold of my arm. I was startled to see that the twins were awake. I tried not to flinch. I gave them both a faint smile and said, “Hello there you two. What do you want for breakfast?” They did not speak but instead pointed at Daisy.
I hurriedly got an ax and cut the head of Daisy off. I wanted to scream and cry while I was chopping the limbs of my poor Daisy.
They ate the carcass like two hungry hyenas competing for food. I went back to kneading the dough again.
Days passed and I started exchanging my bread for meat from the villagers that would buy from me. In fear that the twins might murder and eat me.
The villagers started to get suspicious. No one dared to go to me and be foretold of his or her future.
The children of the village threw rocks on my house and shouted, “Witch! In that house is a witch!” Rumor broke that I’ve been feeding the twins so they’d be plump for the picking; eating them after they have grown.
The twins learned of this rumor and created a scheme to lay death upon me; so their secret would die with me and they may feast upon the rest of the villagers.
One morning, while I was getting the bread I baked out of kiln, they pushed me in, closed the kiln’s door and shouted, “Witch, witch, witch! You ought to be there witch!” It was like a chant they repeated over and over. Soon after, the villagers began entering my house chanting, jeering and laughing.
As I watched the twins celebrate with the villagers a scene flashed in my head: The girl locks the door. As the chants, jeers and laughs of the villagers grew more intense; the boy started the feeding frenzy by putting one-man unconscious and then tearing off his limbs. The loud jeers and laughs were replaced by screams and cries for help.
The girl leaps on the villagers like a tiger knocking each one unconscious.
The boy, in turn, opens the villager’s chest and feasts on their beating heart.
The scene fades.
Once more I hear the villagers’ voices echoing inside the kiln. The twins gave me a faint smile as I collapse and gasp for my last breath
It was just weeks after my husband’s death when I found them unconscious in the woods – a boy and a girl of the same age with tattered clothes and stains of blood with feathers on their hands. Scattered close to them were breadcrumbs. I hurriedly asked help from the village people to carry them home; and took care of them.
I am a widow of a baker. The children fondly calls my house, “The House made of Bread and Candies” because I always give them candies together with the bread they bought. The people of my village go to me to buy bread every morning and also foretell their destinies. I have the gift of premonition. But I can never tell what my future is. If I did know what it was, I never would have let the twins live in my home.
They did not wake until I had the dream: I was in a different house. It was quite dainty considering that the outside was full of trees; and it was fall. I was with a man who I feel is my husband. We were at the doorsteps. In front of us were the two children with the same age as they are now but their clothes were not torn; brown stains on their hands.
My husband (in the dream) and I held the children’s hands and welcomed them to our home. Suddenly, the scene changed. I was taken aback with what I saw. What lay in the yard was my husband’s corpse; his guts scattered on the ground as if a wild animal had hungrily preyed on him. Beside him was a trail of rocks. I followed it. It went through the woods to a clearing. No one was there. I lost my balance while walking to the end of the trail (this may be due to the trauma I experienced). I fell on my belly and all of a sudden I felt a thud on my back.
The next scene that followed was a revelation. I was now lying on my back and the twins were feasting on my insides…
I awoke exhausted from the dream I had. I tried to feel my belly with my hands. In the dark I saw the silhouette of the twins; they’re still in their bed sleeping.
I wasn’t able to go back to sleep that night.
I saw the sun’s rays creeping through the window – to the twin’s bed. In the morning light, their skin were as white as the milk that I get from my cow every morning. But today I would not get any milk from Daisy.
As I was kneading the dough for the day’s breads, two hands grab hold of my arm. I was startled to see that the twins were awake. I tried not to flinch. I gave them both a faint smile and said, “Hello there you two. What do you want for breakfast?” They did not speak but instead pointed at Daisy.
I hurriedly got an ax and cut the head of Daisy off. I wanted to scream and cry while I was chopping the limbs of my poor Daisy.
They ate the carcass like two hungry hyenas competing for food. I went back to kneading the dough again.
Days passed and I started exchanging my bread for meat from the villagers that would buy from me. In fear that the twins might murder and eat me.
The villagers started to get suspicious. No one dared to go to me and be foretold of his or her future.
The children of the village threw rocks on my house and shouted, “Witch! In that house is a witch!” Rumor broke that I’ve been feeding the twins so they’d be plump for the picking; eating them after they have grown.
The twins learned of this rumor and created a scheme to lay death upon me; so their secret would die with me and they may feast upon the rest of the villagers.
One morning, while I was getting the bread I baked out of kiln, they pushed me in, closed the kiln’s door and shouted, “Witch, witch, witch! You ought to be there witch!” It was like a chant they repeated over and over. Soon after, the villagers began entering my house chanting, jeering and laughing.
As I watched the twins celebrate with the villagers a scene flashed in my head: The girl locks the door. As the chants, jeers and laughs of the villagers grew more intense; the boy started the feeding frenzy by putting one-man unconscious and then tearing off his limbs. The loud jeers and laughs were replaced by screams and cries for help.
The girl leaps on the villagers like a tiger knocking each one unconscious.
The boy, in turn, opens the villager’s chest and feasts on their beating heart.
The scene fades.
Once more I hear the villagers’ voices echoing inside the kiln. The twins gave me a faint smile as I collapse and gasp for my last breath
Friday, August 19, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
The Name Game
Allen
Handsome, cheerful, harmonious one : Irish
You are a deep thinker and student of life using your intuition and natural detective ability to seek truth and hidden knowledge. Peaceloving and compassionate you are nonetheless strong-willed and courageous in confronting challenges. Although your approach to life tends to be on a mental level it is important for you to see your ideas and concepts take form in the material world. Your talents and leadership skills give you great potential for a distinguished career.
Josel
You are a charismatic individual with a dynamic and attractive personality. Probably not known for your caution or patience you are a risk taker who hates to be restricted in any way. Freedom is very important to you. Your thinking and intuition is strong and you have a talent for communication. You enjoy the sensual and material pleasures of life and with the application of care and wisdom you can achieve wonderful worldly success.
Santiago
St.James : Spanish
You have great self-confidence and a charming personality which attracts many friends and admirers. Your innate sense of personal power and ability to lead are ideally suited to positions of authority. Being so versatile and seeing the big picture your ambitions are high and much is usually expected of you. With patience and tenacity you will certainly fulfill the great potential you have for success.
Malumay
Extremely intelligent in thought and deed you are gifted at communication and finding practical applications for your ideas. You are strong willed and ambitious and need to have passion, freedom and adventure in your life. Always willing to help others your warm, honest and loyal nature ensures that you are loved by all. It is likely that you will achieve a great deal of success and recognition in life.
Handsome, cheerful, harmonious one : Irish
You are a deep thinker and student of life using your intuition and natural detective ability to seek truth and hidden knowledge. Peaceloving and compassionate you are nonetheless strong-willed and courageous in confronting challenges. Although your approach to life tends to be on a mental level it is important for you to see your ideas and concepts take form in the material world. Your talents and leadership skills give you great potential for a distinguished career.
Josel
You are a charismatic individual with a dynamic and attractive personality. Probably not known for your caution or patience you are a risk taker who hates to be restricted in any way. Freedom is very important to you. Your thinking and intuition is strong and you have a talent for communication. You enjoy the sensual and material pleasures of life and with the application of care and wisdom you can achieve wonderful worldly success.
Santiago
St.James : Spanish
You have great self-confidence and a charming personality which attracts many friends and admirers. Your innate sense of personal power and ability to lead are ideally suited to positions of authority. Being so versatile and seeing the big picture your ambitions are high and much is usually expected of you. With patience and tenacity you will certainly fulfill the great potential you have for success.
Malumay
Extremely intelligent in thought and deed you are gifted at communication and finding practical applications for your ideas. You are strong willed and ambitious and need to have passion, freedom and adventure in your life. Always willing to help others your warm, honest and loyal nature ensures that you are loved by all. It is likely that you will achieve a great deal of success and recognition in life.
Stress
Under the Sea
I was underwater for a few days and gave birth to a dozen blue and orange fishes that have rubber foam for its skin.make that more than a dozen.sixteen to be exact.one night my friend who i fondly call Ursula collected the fishes.She was to use it as props for a 10 minute production in baguio.That night was rehearsal night. A few hours passed.Ursula came back and told me to produce more offsprings.With this remark I needed help so I asked my merman friend Janus to help outand together we gave birth to 16 more fishes.
Pixie forest
I awoke one night to discover that I was sleeping on a leaf. I stood up and to my surprise i had wings. The sun was about to shine. My wings began to flutter. Everyday I would fly from leaf to leaf just to collect petals. I was excited to create a really special flower. But to my dismay I collected too much petals that I had a bunch of them stuck on my yard. I began to make not one special flower but a bunch. Finally the day arrived I had to offer the flowers I made to the Goddess of Beauty.
Da Vinci
A masterpiece done in 8 hours (acryllic paint on coco cloth)original size: 7ft by 6 ft (per panel 7ft by 2 ft)
I was underwater for a few days and gave birth to a dozen blue and orange fishes that have rubber foam for its skin.make that more than a dozen.sixteen to be exact.one night my friend who i fondly call Ursula collected the fishes.She was to use it as props for a 10 minute production in baguio.That night was rehearsal night. A few hours passed.Ursula came back and told me to produce more offsprings.With this remark I needed help so I asked my merman friend Janus to help outand together we gave birth to 16 more fishes.
Pixie forest
I awoke one night to discover that I was sleeping on a leaf. I stood up and to my surprise i had wings. The sun was about to shine. My wings began to flutter. Everyday I would fly from leaf to leaf just to collect petals. I was excited to create a really special flower. But to my dismay I collected too much petals that I had a bunch of them stuck on my yard. I began to make not one special flower but a bunch. Finally the day arrived I had to offer the flowers I made to the Goddess of Beauty.
Da Vinci
A masterpiece done in 8 hours (acryllic paint on coco cloth)original size: 7ft by 6 ft (per panel 7ft by 2 ft)
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The Attack of Sweet Cravings
When you are hungry and there is no available food in the ref but raw food, the hired help is out and you just want dessert after a hearty meal, Teletubbies is on and you want something to eat while watching those somewhat disgustingly cute colorful creatures with these strange shapes and figures on top of their head (which will make you think if one of those is a phallic symbol of some sort); so you can throw up something after the show (not just gastric juices but bits of semi-digested food), or you just want to surprise your mom by letting her taste the nastiest food she’ll ever consume; and she’ll say to you that it’s the tastiest (but not necessarily delicious) food she ever ate – probably because you’re her child and she doesn’t want to dampen your spirits about your dream on becoming the best cook in the world. Try this:
Choc-nut Cake.
You will need 3 egg yolks and 1 whole egg, a 300ml can of condensed milk (preferably Carnation or Milkmaid, not Alaska because it has this weird taste), and, of course, Choc-nut – about 5 bars or 10 if you’re really in the mood to make yourself sick.
To create this sweet concoction you have to beat the egg yolks with the whole egg (don’t forget to break the egg, the shell has no special flavor, trust me) then mix in the condensed milk. Before blending in the Choc-nut in the mixture, crush them, in a separate platter, with a fork or your hand if you want your essence to be included in the cake (this is most favored by lovers). Put it in a microwave safe container and put it on the microwave oven in the maximum setting for 3 minutes or until you see it puff out of the container like a cake (maybe like a brownie or a brown puffed pillow). Top with confectioner’s sugar. Eat it while it’s warm because if you don’t it’ll look like pancakes when it’s cold.
Post text: Recipe intended just for the consumption of children (5-10 years old) or kid-at-heart folks (like me!).
Choc-nut Cake.
You will need 3 egg yolks and 1 whole egg, a 300ml can of condensed milk (preferably Carnation or Milkmaid, not Alaska because it has this weird taste), and, of course, Choc-nut – about 5 bars or 10 if you’re really in the mood to make yourself sick.
To create this sweet concoction you have to beat the egg yolks with the whole egg (don’t forget to break the egg, the shell has no special flavor, trust me) then mix in the condensed milk. Before blending in the Choc-nut in the mixture, crush them, in a separate platter, with a fork or your hand if you want your essence to be included in the cake (this is most favored by lovers). Put it in a microwave safe container and put it on the microwave oven in the maximum setting for 3 minutes or until you see it puff out of the container like a cake (maybe like a brownie or a brown puffed pillow). Top with confectioner’s sugar. Eat it while it’s warm because if you don’t it’ll look like pancakes when it’s cold.
Post text: Recipe intended just for the consumption of children (5-10 years old) or kid-at-heart folks (like me!).
Sunday, July 17, 2005
When i'm with you...
I need not wear a mask,
I can clown around when i want to;
I need not be an adult,
I can be a kid and play;
I need not say much,
A simple touch and kiss
send what I feel for you;
I need not hide,
you bring out my inner being;
I need not be afraid,
because you will always be beside me.
I can clown around when i want to;
I need not be an adult,
I can be a kid and play;
I need not say much,
A simple touch and kiss
send what I feel for you;
I need not hide,
you bring out my inner being;
I need not be afraid,
because you will always be beside me.
Friday, July 15, 2005
Hurt
Lips are numb.
Heart beating slowly,
every thump a short of breath.
Stomach grumbling,
Close to vomiting.
Heart beating slowly,
every thump a short of breath.
Stomach grumbling,
Close to vomiting.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Telephone Talking
Midnight,
I checked the luminescent hands of my wristwatch.
It was the only visible object in my room.
I lied on my bed, waiting.
Ten minutes passed.
My cellular phone; idle for the longest time.
I tried to reach you; a few rings,
More waiting.
I tried sleeping
So tomorrow I can say that I fell asleep, waiting.
Fixed my bed and arranged my pillows in their usual places on my bed.
I thought of you – the reason behind your disregard of me.
Then I fell into this pit.
But I was too tired to feel anything;
So I uttered no sound,
Not even a yell;
Even though it was a long fall.
The air was damp
And it was dark.
I lied there for a while trying not to move,
Just breathing.
One o’clock,
I saw the shining hands of my wrist watch
From the peripherals of my sight.
I stood up and switched the light on.
I was back in my room.
I got hold of the phone and dialed the number
I knew for months now.
You answered with a cold tone
That sent me shivering inside.
I said goodbye because you couldn’t talk.
At last my used to be idle phone sprang to life;
The sound of millions of crickets stuck inside my head.
I read the message you sent me.
I understood.
I sent myself back to bed
To wait once more.
Two hours after midnight.
I checked the luminescent hands of my wristwatch.
It was the only visible object in my room.
I lied on my bed, waiting.
Ten minutes passed.
My cellular phone; idle for the longest time.
I tried to reach you; a few rings,
More waiting.
I tried sleeping
So tomorrow I can say that I fell asleep, waiting.
Fixed my bed and arranged my pillows in their usual places on my bed.
I thought of you – the reason behind your disregard of me.
Then I fell into this pit.
But I was too tired to feel anything;
So I uttered no sound,
Not even a yell;
Even though it was a long fall.
The air was damp
And it was dark.
I lied there for a while trying not to move,
Just breathing.
One o’clock,
I saw the shining hands of my wrist watch
From the peripherals of my sight.
I stood up and switched the light on.
I was back in my room.
I got hold of the phone and dialed the number
I knew for months now.
You answered with a cold tone
That sent me shivering inside.
I said goodbye because you couldn’t talk.
At last my used to be idle phone sprang to life;
The sound of millions of crickets stuck inside my head.
I read the message you sent me.
I understood.
I sent myself back to bed
To wait once more.
Two hours after midnight.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
All Dogs Go to Heaven
“Ma… Snoop dog’s dead!” I heard my sister tell my mom while I was sculpting a starfish from a bar of soap. I hurriedly ran to the garage to check out our dog. I saw it strangled with its own leash, tongue out and with the stiffness of death crawling on its body. Scenes of its “puppyhood” flashed inside my head -- days when Snoop would freely run around the house, until it grew bigger and my mom had to let him stay outside of the house in the garage. I was actually surprised to see him tied in a leash because the past few days he freely greeted me every time I arrived home. My mom told me that she had to tie it up after its bath.
I carried the dead dog’s body to our backyard. I couldn’t bare the look on its face -- the look of death. I stared at it for a while before I began digging its grave. The soil was so dry. I had to put water to soften it. It took me an hour and gallons of sweat to dig up a hole in the ground deep enough for the dog's dead body. While I was digging I imagined going home without a high-tone bark welcoming me.
I carried the dead dog’s body to our backyard. I couldn’t bare the look on its face -- the look of death. I stared at it for a while before I began digging its grave. The soil was so dry. I had to put water to soften it. It took me an hour and gallons of sweat to dig up a hole in the ground deep enough for the dog's dead body. While I was digging I imagined going home without a high-tone bark welcoming me.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Friday, March 18, 2005
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Multiple Personality
To lose one’s mind
Crazy
Send in the clowns
Make them laugh
Have them cry
Schizophrenia
To lose someone
Misery
Hear your voice again
Sweet tender words
Utter piercing sentiments
Depression
To be alone
Terror
Slumping in a corner
Staring blankly to nothingness
A void inside
Paranoia
Crazy
Send in the clowns
Make them laugh
Have them cry
Schizophrenia
To lose someone
Misery
Hear your voice again
Sweet tender words
Utter piercing sentiments
Depression
To be alone
Terror
Slumping in a corner
Staring blankly to nothingness
A void inside
Paranoia
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
My real age
You Are 12 Years Old |
12 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
Monday, February 28, 2005
Infinity
Then the world stopped turning
Time stood still
Send me your smile
Give me your cheers
Bring me to life
Pull heaven to earth
Put it right between us
Time stood still
Send me your smile
Give me your cheers
Bring me to life
Pull heaven to earth
Put it right between us
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Nocturne
The moon shone brightly last night
As two souls counted stars
They never knew when they would finish
But they counted away
Not minding the make shifts of
The darkness beyond
As two souls counted stars
They never knew when they would finish
But they counted away
Not minding the make shifts of
The darkness beyond
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
When the world seems meaningless
Insomia.
Lots of things in mind.
Feels like this big load on my back is getting heavier.
Can't breathe.
Dying.
Can't move.
Undecided.
I hope when i sleep
This baggage will be emptied.
Lots of things in mind.
Feels like this big load on my back is getting heavier.
Can't breathe.
Dying.
Can't move.
Undecided.
I hope when i sleep
This baggage will be emptied.
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