I'm trying out smoking. The doctors tell me that it's my affirmation that i am alive.
- What dreams may come
I started smoking last October 2006 and it has been quite some sort of rebellion against myself. I never wanted to even try smoking but certain events in my life lead to the destruction of that ideal. I tried to destroy myself that time. And it was a learning experience: Never stop dreaming eventhough the life you've been hoping for was lost.
I realized that I don't have build dreams with someone. All I should do now would be to realize my dreams and work on it, if someone would come along, all I have to do is share those dreams of mine not build something together that I know would definitely end when the relationship falls apart.
I try to live with myself now. Everyday I face problems with work and it has been distracting my emotions.
Smoking also distracts me and I know that it is bad for my health. But soon an epiphany will come. Hopefully it comes before I die of Lung cancer.
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